I hear you, it is the same feeling for me, and it is awful. Maybe it is worth talking about the reasons, why do you feel that way? What makes it so hard to open up? I found it helpful to switch therapists. I need someone who is unprovoking and I also prefer talking to women.
You said rape of privacy - is this a trigger for you? Have your boundaries been disrespected by someone before?
Please find help, I hope this gets better for you