Rhap,
I love that thing you wrote, it's beautiful.
Yeah I kinda see more where you coming from. Do you think if your hubby was a bit more obvious about his love for you (telling you, buying you flowers and all the romance stuff) you'd feel better about the sex thing, since he was showing his love in other ways?
My bf's discovered recently that a sure way to make me feel a lot more secure about our relationship (I'm insecure quite often), is to hold my hand when we're in public together and whisper something sweet in my ear, like that he loves me or that I'm beautiful or something. OK, so it doesn't compensate for sex exactly, but if you work on the security thing, that might help the sex thing.
In addition, apparently men adore confidence in women in the bedroom, so if you're more secure in your relationship, it might (repeat: might- this is just an idea) make him feel in the mood more often.
Good luck anyway :-)