What will be going on with your husband's parents? Are they staying away thus year?

Your mother sounds like a real pain. It's hard on a big holiday to tell someone they are not welcome to your home, but it does sound like you would rather not have your mother over. That is an option for you. There is no law that says you have to entertain extended family on Thanksgiving, or any other day.

Unfortunately, your mom is unlikely to change. You have the right to say, "I'm not up to having company and entertaining. It will just be a quiet holiday for my husband and children and myself. I am inviting no one over." That us hard to do, if you've always done differently.