I think you know what your options are. Keep in mind that this isn't just about you. Your son is going to be affected, sooner or later, by your relationship with this man. It's not going to be positive.

It's hard to face loneliness. I lived for 7 years with a man who was coming home drunk every second night. Finally, I left and moved into a place of my own. I thought it would be awful. Within two weeks. I was so happy with my decision.

Your real problem is that you need to have more going on in your own life to get you connected to the world outside your home. I was lucky in that I had gone back to school. I was getting to know classmates and I think that made me feel connected. If you have other people to be involved with, this new man will seem less important. Being involved with him will actually get in the way of you finding healthier relationships. (I'll bet he likes the two of you to be alone together.) Everyone has faults. Alcohol abuse isn't just a fault like any other fault. Nothing sensible can go on while you're with someone who is drunk.

Here's an option you might consider. When I left my guy, I told him that I was still his friend who loved him, but I would absolutely not allow him to be around me when he was drinking. And that's what I did. I saw him now and then when he was sober. A year later he ended up in a major health crisis and decided to stop drinking. It was all his own decision. We are still friends.

Alanon helped me. I learned that it is not my business or my right or my obligation to try and change another person. It took years to really get that. Once I did, I felt the weight of the world being lifted off my shoulders. Before that, I had been trying to "save" him. I learned that my business is to save me.