I am so physically, emotionally, and metally tired that I have thoughts about being dead. I don't want to die and I am not going to do anything. I just need a break. I tell family members but nobody gives a $#@!%$#. I can't discuss this with my husband because he says I am sorry its my fault I will just end it all and cries. I can't do this. I took him to the ER to be prescreened and they sent him home. How can they send home a suicidal paitent? They did not think he was really suicidal and not bad enough to be admitted. His physicall symptoms at first would get worse when I decided to have me time or when I as for help with our daughter. Know his depression magically kicks in right when I want to leave. I don't know if his conditions are real or not at this point but I dont say anything to him for fear of making him worse. They say its conversion disorder, but sometimes I think he is playing sick for the attention. Plus on top of all of this I feel so guilty for thinking I wish you would die when he tells me he is suicidal just so I can get some rest. I don't want him dead and I love him.