I am new to the site too. I have recently stopped cocaine. I was doing it everyday for about 4 months and the abuse escalated from a gram a week to a ball a week. I moved across the country to start a new life and get clean. I messed up a couple times and did some. Since then I have been having cravings. I have also been extremley depressed. I was anorexic in my teen years, and the cocaine made me lose weight and feel good. Since I have been clean, I have gained a little weight and am miserable. I don't know what to do about these cravings. I am with a wonderful guy who is very supportive of me I know that I risk losing everything I have if I start again, but I am feeling so desperate for the high it gives me and the confidence, even though in my rational mind, the confidnece is an illusion...i still crave it.