SO here's a fun experience from tonight. lots of fun, try this at home. i went with my plan to go for an outdoor run. on the first couple blocks i noticed an older man in front of me, and he's walking kind of wobbly, can't really decide what side of the sidewalk to walk on. so i think i can sneak by him on the right when he's on the left, but nope, right as i try he veers right and nearly bumps into me. i swerve and apologize (i have my headphones in so i can't hear what he says back), and he touches my back as i pass. right in the center of my back. and it fvcking BURNS, physically, it BURNS and there's cold shivers running down my SPINE and i'm SPRINTING away and SCREAMING. luckily the major street at the end of the road was quiet and i ran across it before anyone could catch me.

but i just spent the whole rest of the run terrified. i went 40 minutes and was in a near panic every time i saw a man. there were these two much bigger ones in front of me when i was taking a walking break and i just kept repeating to myself "claw their eyes out claw their eyes out claw their eyes out go for the temples go for the temples go for the temples" and like it wasn't that i was feeling like i would attack THEM, it was THEM inevitably attacking ME. and AM was always mocking me for it, saying if i couldn't outrun a team of predators in a wooded trail then there's no way i would survive going back to hell.

this is why i like treadmills, man.