Thank you for the responses.

I think I put the trigger warning on here bec I know there's parents out there that would die to have what I have & think of me as selfish & a bad parent. I already feel that way.

I feel like I've done my job. I don't wanto be married anymore & I don't wanto raise kids anymore. There are now other things in my life I wanto do. Things I've missed or put off or have newly discovered. Now I feel trapped by my surroundings. I'm a mom for a hell of a long time. I don't wanto talk about 401k's or retirement. I wanto go live the life I walked away from when I was 25yo. I'll never get that chance. I wanto experience life....on my own. Find my own way. I've become locked in this "family life."
I've told my husband that "I don't belong here." I'd like to leave & figure things out.
He's asked me to stay & figure it out here.
I'm needed here. To cook, mother, schedule, do wash, etc. Mom/wife stuff. If I'd walk away if hurt a great deal of people. But if I stay I'm slowly killing my own soul.
I feel very trapped.