I wrote this in 1990, before my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed in 2005. I am now in recovery. Enjoy!

I Am The Shadow

I am the shadow,
I exist in a world of light,
Blending into the darkness of night.

My face you cannot see,
My expressions, sometimes misleading.

If you hear a whisper in the wind,
It may be me.

I am the shadow,
I exist in a world of sounds, good and bad.
Of laughter,
Crying,
Shouting,
Singing.

You think that I feel nothing,
No love,
No hate,
No anger,
No fear,
No pain.
But you are wrong.

You think that I do not cry,
But I weep silently.
You cannot see the tears that slide down my cheeks,
But they are there.

I am the shadow, you cannot touch,
Always within sight but never within reach.

I am the shadow, afraid to trust the light for it distorts me.
Please forgive me if I trick you,
I cannot control it.

I long to live in the light,
To be held and loved,
But I am only a silent shadow,
Watching but unable to take part in it all,
What others do, I can only dream of.

So I lurk in corners,
Ignored,
Misunderstood.
Always waiting for the night to come,
Always dying but never dead.

I am the shadow, I have no friends,
Even in a crowd, I’m all alone.
Existing in somber shades of gray,
A lonely shadow,
I’m doomed to stay.