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Keep petting the kitten and doing other things to distract yourself. I think it's good you are able to acknowledge the fact you are starting to think about it - that way you are in more control over the thoughts instead of vice versa.
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Do at least one thing you enjoy each day. 
Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits
Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed
"Now I can see all the colors that you see."
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