Quote:
Originally Posted by popuri88
I was never a victim of bullying, but was always an outcas. When I was 15, I moved to a different school and met this girl who seemed to have similar interests, but then I started noticing she was a liar: se pretended to like the same things I liked, but truth was she was really lazy and was trying to build the image of being smart, liking to read and all.
We were asked to write an arcticle for the school's newspaper and, as she was a faker and her writing sucked, I wrote the whole thing and she happily got the compliments. Then I found a couple of newspapers where people drew things on my face but nothing on hers, in the picture that was published with the arcticle. Probably done by people from my class. :/
Months later, she came to my house with the excuse that she wanted to hang out, but truth was that her mother had forbidden her to see a guy that lived close to me. She was constantly using me, so I backed off. I'm constantly exposed to situations where people come to me because they objectively needed something, so I'm also pretty guarded and mistrustful of people's intentions and "friendship" offers. Even now it happens and it's awful.
On the other hand, while I'm nice to others, I sometimes don't want to be their friends for many reasons (they have nothing in common with me, I have no patience with them or whatever), so I tend to back off in these situations too. I still offer help and we connect through mutual needs, but I wonder if I let them down because they expect me be bffs with them. It's complicate.
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Bullying isn't always physical or obvious. Girls are deemed the cruelest because we tend to go after the self-esteem, reputations and inner psyche of others, which is the hardest to fix and recover from. Using people can be a form of bullying.
I went through the same thing many times. I got a re. as being gullible and people would use that weakness against me.
You sound sort of like me. I went through a time when I just didn't care if I had friends.
I had this one best friend who didn't live near me. Her mom was a caretaker and they were always moving. But we would have sleep-overs almost every other weekend for the whole weekend. My mom would get irritated but I didn't care and still don't. That was my only friend that came around and if we didn't have the sleep=overs I would have no one. My mom was only concerned with her stupid husband at the time. (That's another story)
At this time, I would love to have people over and hang out. My mom is always telling me that people will come over if I hold dinner parties. I don't want people over just because their expecting a free feast. And she's been complaining that I'm going to have such a lonely life. I don't care. It's a taboo to be alone but it doesn't mean it's a bad thing.
One thing I don't miss about having friends is them telling you what you should like, who you should go out with, what you should do. I don't do that to anyone else but people sure like doing that to me.