I feel like life is a merry go round I can't get off. I ocassionally am able to move from one horse to another - some times I even get to within sight of the one with the golden reins and saddle yet the speed of the merry go round makes me stumble back to the donkey which I am forced to always ride. Round and round the merry go round goes and I just can't get off it no matter how I try. I keep seeing people I know freely walking about enjoying cotton candy and massive stuffed animals between exciting rides of their own choosing.