Yesterday I post under General Q&A (true or false?) My brother had a lot to say regarding mental health and also a lot about me!

Since the conversation with my brother Thursday night I got this numb feeling it feels like no matter how hard I try, this battle is not for me to win! I'm tired of apologizing, I'm tired of explaining myself, I'm tired for hiding how I feel and what I'm thinking, I'm tired of their jokes about my mental state, I'm tired of not being good enough for them as I am now!

The ultimatum was given to me, and I've promised I will change I understand that I'm the only person that can change 'me' and I think under the circumstances I try my best! They said its the medication thats messing with my head, and I've stopped using it! Maybe thats not enough for them? The sad part is in this 2 weeks not my husband or my parents bother to ask me how I am feeling , am I ok? It makes me feel worthless like a nobody!!!!!!

They say suicide is a sin and that's true, but what about the people that's causing me to think I'm not worthy to be alive, don't it make them murderers as well? I know this statement is uncalled for but when are they going to 'wake up' and see what they are doing to me?

My emotions/feelings are busy boiling over and I'm afraid I'm going to loose control the urge to burn myself is back...... :

I know it's the anger in me that makes me think that maybe its time to tell them all to go to 'hell'! I don't think they will even care!

Why must I keep hanging on if they already gave up on me?