It sounds like you T is just giving you more options and support so you don't feel quite so hemmed in.

Hospitalization does not have to be 24/7-overnight; there are partial hospitalization options and I am sure your infant's needs would be considered. Having better support and therapy day-to-day might be very helpful to you now.

I don't see how SI can be thoughts, we all have difficult/negative thoughts time-to-time, there's nothing wrong with anything we think or imagine anymore than there is anything we dream; our thoughts are there to help us.