Oh Breadfish, I am sorry you are struggling. I get these difficult cycles myself so I know how it is. I find that when I get overwhelmed with something I have these cycles. I keep reminding myself to be patient and I try to distract myself until it passes. I look for things that help me come back into the now. I even try to find something on TV that is entertaining in a good way.

It helps to keep reminding yourself that whatever it was you did survive it and you are safe now and you have learned to take better care of yourself. I am sorry that you experienced that in your life, you did not deserve it.