(((((((((((((((((((((((( Kimberly ))))))))))))))))))))))))))) if ok. I know you don't know me well, if at all. I've only been here a couple of weeks.

To a degree, I can relate with what you're going through (we've always been the mother's rescuer, make everything alright person). I've had more than my share of dealing with a hysterical mother. And when I would stand my ground, a cruel parent.

I understand the decision that you're trying to make for yourself. I had to make it as well. My mother understood absolutely NO boundaries. There were no lines I drew that she would not cross. After I was in t for a while, I finally had the courage to separate from the mother (the hardest thing I've done in my adult life). I had already been pulling away from her emotionally. For instance, I was there talking to her on the phone physically, but I placed a wall very high that almost nothing got thru to get an emotional reaction from me. She started acting out like a child...creating traumas and I still didn't bite. Then she became angry and hurtful. After so long of her hurt, I was able to do what I needed to do for me, and it was hard.

To make a long story short...I didn't speak with the mother at all for over three months...not one time. There was an accident involving my baby nephew and she called me hysterical (genuinely and with reason)(the baby and everyone was fine, but it was a scary situation). Anyhow, I still didn't speak to her often after that and kept that wall very high. T told me she was uncapable of learning boundaries. Well, t was wrong! T said I would never get accomplished what I needed to in t if I didn't let her go and focus on selves. Well, after alot of hard work, the mother did learn some boundaries. She never saw me as emotionally ill...no one did. I was the strong one. They took advantage of my goodness.

Anyhow, the mother did learn what few boundaries I literally had to force into place, and it's been fairly good since then. I actually have what it takes to say to her now, "mom, you don't hear me and what I'm saying so I'm going to hang up now and will talk with you tomorrow." Before, she would've thrown herself on the floor crying....or cursed me out. Now, she's accepting that. She learned that she'd rather have me somewhat limited than not at all. And this happened with a woman who is severely emotionally ill and who's t said she would never accept that from me.

I hope something like this can happen for you? I wanted my mother in my life, but couldn't continue on the way I was...it was taking me down. It took a long time and consistancy on my part, but I look back and it was worth it. On the other hand, I understand if you decide that you have to separate from mother long term, if not for good. I had to make that decision and actually that was what I was prepared to do when I stopped speaking with her.

I hope so much for you and your mother. Be safe and I'm sending peaceful, understanding wishes your way.

Kimmydawn