Also...I am very judgmental of people myself and it's hard to please me. I tend to put people down with just one look and I am quick to make judgements about people. So there are really just a few people I feel like they are good enough, but then I do not feel like I am good enough myself. It's like a split where I also feel better than most, but also far worse then them if it makes any sense... I also have very specific criteria for people and I limit myself to only meet those who are a part of some of my ideal... And I notice how far or close I am to that ideal myself... Scan for people's imperfections and perfections to see who's better and who's worse...It's basically a struggle between being really ashamed and envious, but then at the same time being proud and selective, because I feel like I am very different than most and only those who understand and view the life the way I do are worthy of my attention.
My thinking is very abstract and idealistic and probably hard to stimulate by most of the common things.

Idk...if I make sense