I dunno if I am having flashbacks or just plain ole bad memories. I am at my son's house, cleaning and painting the basement apartment. The last tenant totally "ragged" the basement, so lots of work is being done. The x even replaced the carpet with laminate flooring which looks like hardwood floors. Actually looks quite beautiful.

My son said he had $800 deposit from previous tenants, so all the work I am doing would have come out of their deposit. Wrong! Turned out my son only collected $200 deposit and the the tenants owe $275 utilities. Not only are we in a hole for utilities, but nothing left over for damages to basement. Oh yes, the tenants are fraternity brothers which really isn't all that important.

Turns out my son hasn't met the new tenants. A mother and teenage daughter. Son's girlfriend met them. She said they looked like "hicks" . rolls my eyes. Son was talking to the mother last night. He was saying "so when can you pay the deposit" and how much can you pay. Then I heard him say, :how much rent can you pay when you move in, which happens to be today. I had to leave the room. My blood was boiling.

This is where I am wondering if this is flashbacks or just bad memory. I have no problem with giving folks deals. I did. I rented my basement apartment "super cheap" to several folks, just to help them out and they ran all over me, even ragged my basement which cost me lots of money to repair before I could rent it again. Looks like the same thing is happening with my son. He rents to folks and they rag the house, holes in doors, huge stains in carpet, not to mention the filth.

Last night my son said lets talk. He said he didn't understand me. That my personality just changes out of the blue. I said my personality doesn't change. I am just worried. I don't want what happened to me happen to you. I am soo worried with all the money being spent for "tenants" and it seems nobody collects "deposits" to cover damages and who ends up b eing screwed. I don't want the x to flip out and have to sell this house, esp when you have put your heart and soul in fixing it up. I put my heart and soul in my house and I lost it all.

I told my son my personality doesn't change. I am me. Everyone isn't the same all the time. Everyone thinks different or does things different at different times. Nobody is the "same" all the time. Being rather boring I'd think if "people" could be predictable all the time. Besides, I am a woman and this is how "women" are.

I may have scattered about with my thoughts. The new tenant hasn't shown up yet. The apartment is almost finished and looking ooooooh so pretty. My memory of renting my basement and being screwed with rent, or destroying all my hard work and efforts surface. And am feeling I don't like people, I don't want to "give" any of the "good" of me to anyone and would love to live in a tent, fish for dinner, and plant veggies gardens. I want people to not like me. When they like me the want "more" from me than I can give. Maybe this posts explains what "crazy" is. Maybe I am crazy. God, all the crazy folks walking free in this world is rather scary.