I know if my husband asked me to do something like this I wouldn't be able to do it. It would be too triggering due to past abuses. I would hope that he would be understanding about the situation and we could move on to find something else that satisfies both of us.

I think that you should try couples therapy to save your marriage. The fact that he said he may have to find what he needs somewhere else is very distressing. I think it may help to work on your relationship, and get to the root of these issues.