Hello all! I was in a relationship with a woman who had borderline personality disorder and an eating disorder. She was also a drug addict and alcoholic. She said she was quitting and that all went down the drain when she went away for the weekend with her friends who love to party. She came back, broke up with me because she said she decided to go to rehab, did NOT end up going to rehab, tried to get me back, and got a bit manipulative when I said I couldn't take her back. What she said was a little hurtful. This was my first relationship, unfortunately.

This happened over a year ago but we last spoke this March.

I find myself thinking about her and wondering if she is okay. But I feel like every time I think about her, I go backwards in my attempts to move on.

I know I deserve a loving person and a stable, honest, and caring relationship, just like everyone else. I didn't believe that before because my self-esteem was extremely low. But I have been working on myself and my depression in therapy and I now like myself!

I guess my concern is: Am I making progress in moving on if I still think of her? I sometimes wish that she goes to rehab and therapy and we get back together when she has worked on herself. However, I know this is highly unlikely and I refuse to wait for her. I have my own life to live.

I just feel disappointed in myself when I think of her.

Has anyone else felt like this? I hope this all made sense!