I love you drummergrl!!!
Cr,
Your daughter sounds a lot like me, although I tied to be "nicer" because I was whipped so much as a child when i wasn't. I'm not sure if demanding she get help is the answer. That may push her further away. I think that sitting down with her, maybe giving her a biploar checklist( they're in most biploar books, there may even be one on this site) When I do a checklist, there is no way I can deny being bipolar. Then let her know that you are there for her and will go to the psychiatrist with her (no regular doc).
I agree that you should set limits for your own life, but she's an adult and what happens is essentially up to her.
I know that my mom would have helpped me if she was still alive. I'm a mother of a child who committed suicide, he was 20. So I tell other parents, never give up reaching out to your kids. Let then know that they are loved. Try not to act judgemental(even when you are), And let them know that you would help them when they are ready for help. My son went from a gangbanger to a college student holding down two jobs. But I believe that he was undiagnosed bipolar, and with my history, most psych agree. From his letter, he died knowing that I loved him and in his words, "that I had done my best."
I said a prayer for you and your daughter,
dorsey