I am going to be brutal . please forgive me . almost all fanatics are acting off there "own selfish" desires and not the will of God ... "getting the fire back" is God's choice and his time to give ... to demand it for yourself is to presume upon God ... very close to blasphemy.... I mean you no harm and it is hard to see you suffer so much ... sometimes being a believer means waiting upon God and not getting in front of him ... search your heart and wait upon the "still calm voice" ...