My heart goes out to you.
Your children will still have each other, and I am sure they will be ok in life with what you have given them so far as their mom. Now it is time to get what you need.
I can't even imagine what you must feel like, but I send you the warmest of hugs and best wishes. What I do understand is this fear of unfinished business and the need to share and express your emotions. So please do so Wishing you peace, comfort, love and light <3