People grieve differently. I'm not sure if you have to cry to grieve. My father died when I was 12 and he was only 44. I never cried. I think I was in shock. I just felt numb. I didn't know he was dying, nobody told me. There was so much tragedy relating to his life and death, that dealing with it has been a never ending theme between my mother and my sisters and me. Mom did not handle it well. So, it seems like I should have really cried, to grieve for my father. But, even after all these years, I never did. Maybe I never really grieved either.

I cry like crazy over other things. When my grandparents died, at ripe old ages, I didn't cry either, and I loved them very much. I felt like they had gotten to live long lives and they passed. I felt glad I had gotten to know them and enjoyed them.

When other people are upset because their pet died or a loved one passed at an old age, I feel a numbness, although I act like I really feel for them. I do feel for them, but I just can't equate it to the fact that I had a father, who was so tragic, and I was so totally meaningless and abandoned.