Good god I'm regretting this thread...

Whenever i flip out like this, there's always some part of me that wonders if the person I'm taking so seriously is being honest, if they're exaggerating, or are simply biased, or if they're missing important information. But I can't let myself entertain that thought, because it feels like I'm just placating myself and avoiding the truth. Lying to myself or projecting my envy of their perfection.

A while after I posted this, someone basically wrote in that this kind of mentality (shared by a couple other posters) is toxic. As I read and agreed, I found myself thinking about how arbitrary such reverence really is - why are this person's standards the best? Assuming her accomplishments are factual, there's at least another's handful of people out there who are similarly amazing, who may well have different standards.

Also how this criticism is always valid/there's always room for improvement" mindset sounds...kind of like a perfectionism trap, where nothing is ever good enough because there's always a potential criticism somewhere.

Though the key here is opinions from extremely accomplished people. Like I said, I've been thrown for similar reactions by similar people, since it all boils down to my own inferiority.

To the person who asked about conceit and lack of compassion: it's not conceit if it's warranted, and yes, non-compassionate people bother me, but I always have this nagging feeling that raw intelligence can make up for it.

But I've been on an emotional bender for the last 3 days or so, and I find I often feel the title with totally different triggers... this was just the most recent outburst. God, I screwed up...