(((((((Kimmydawn))))))))))No overstepping at all, it feels good to receive such a compliment.Thanks for the wishes..I need them!

I have always felt when she was in crisis that I was neglecting my kids when I ran to her. The kids, ofcourse are concerned for their Nana but they don't understand and I hope they never know what she put us through.

I dissociate too. Not DID, but I get this lovely unaffected feeling and that's usually how I feel when I am speaking with her in her hysterics. I have that same wall you're talking about and I try to rationalize with her. I keep her at arm's length. It seems to work better that way. It keeps me feeling "safe". Perhaps that is why she calls me when something goes wrong.

There is alot of guilt that comes along with mothering your children AND your mother huh? LOL. Apparently you've done a great job with your children. Smart and obviously well-adjusted. Hey, can't beat a psychology major in the family! I would be extremely nervous having my kids psychoanalyze me though. LOL. But I am weird like that. It's the paranoia. It helps when you can laugh at yourself. And to them, they know I'm not like other moms, but I'm their mom and their friends think I'm cool. How scary is that ????

It's great having someone to converse with that knows what it's like dealing with a drama queen mother. Most of the time she is tolerable. Sometimes you know she gets off track and instead of taking her meds that the pdoc prescribes, she self medicates with street drugs and alcohol and boy does it get U-G-L-Y!

That is the one thing I'm afraid of because when she was drinking she was very very very abusive towards me. And inappropriate.

I'm getting over in left field now. I have made my decision, to save my own sanity. I hope it doesn't come across as cruel, but we have a strong family history of mental illness and sometimes you have to implement what I call self-preservation.

Take Care
Kimberly.