Honestly I can say I can relate to all of this during different parts of my life. I too have a family history of alcoholism and I have ended up in some very dark places. I have been sober nine days now and I don't plan on going back. Can you find something else worthwhile to fill the gap and make a new routine?

I wanted to add that the fact of you worrying about it means it's something you need to address no matter what you decide in the end.