Hello. I am Martin and I have a problem. I am asking for a favor, PLEASE READ this text although it is long. Here is my story:

-Last autumn, I changed school and since the level of new school is drastically higher, I started to get a bit lower marks than usual. I have been always critical of my marks and for me there is only one good result - an A. I am happy that now I am almost on this level that I wish.

-Last october I got a football injury that brought me, for three months, away from football that has been a huge part of my life 12 years already. Thus, I got even more depressed then.

-Last november, shortly after football injury I had a stomach flu and 4-5 days of diarrhea. I thought the problem was gone and did not go to a doctor. I had to go to school bathroom to have a bowel movement for the first time at new school and I felt very uncomfortable about it even though I was just sick. Since then, I started regurarly going to bathroom more and more and even at school. I hope it would just fade but it didnt.

-First 5 months of 2015, I still had the problem. I went to my GP several times but she just recommended drinking tea . wow.

-Summer was so much better. I thought I finally got rid of this OCD-alike way of thinking. I somehow believe it has to do with the fact that I slept more and had little or no tasks that needed to be done for sure. Stress was much lower for sure.

-September came and I went back to school. The first days were pretty fine, although I had to go still several times. I actually had two days when I didnt go at all!! (Though I was eating only gluten free and lactose free things then but tests that I took later revealed I am not intolerant towards them) In my opinion it makes it clearer that all of the problem lays in my head.

-I think I even thought myself sick because the first ultrasonic I had said that I have an enlarged spleen. Then I meditated and the next ultrasonic said it is back to normal.

-Lately, as my gastroenterologist did not find anything wrong, I got a diagnose - irritable bowel syndrome (diarrhea-dominant). It is so bad because I have heard of no treatment for it. I am still going to talk about it with my doctor on Thursday but I am hopeless and very depressed at the moment. Just today, I came back from school before even the first lesson ended (75 the lenght). I have constant urges to go to the bathroom when I am sitting in class. Usually when I go, I actally have to but there are times like today. I did not need it, as soon as I stood up and got out of class, it all seemed better. Also, lack of sounds make me worried because I am afraid my body will do these weird noises again that I cannot control. This led me to some awkward situations in the past and I am often worried in classes that are totally silent.

-Another factor - as I changed school, I had to go away from my parents last autumn and I started to live at a campus of an univeristy although I was only 16 at the time. Thus, I had to spend 5 days each week away from home and I actually still have, though now I am used to it. I have had some terrible roommates over the time. I have hated partly all of them and I am always desperate for the idea that I can afford an appartment finally to have full room for myself again. It just makes me so uncomfortable to study or work if some stranger is near me then.
Plus, during the first months, my parents at home did not get along so I was so afraid of them getting separated and that contributed to my anxiety as well. I am glad they are all good now.

-I want to communicate and when I get the chance with someone who has things with me in common, I forget everything else. Just like with doing sports. I could say I am a person who is open towards others.

-BUT - at times my mind reminds me that I have ibs and this has stopped me from asking girls out and eventually, I am a bit afraid that I will die alone if I dont get rid of my problems before. I mean, I only want to help others not to be their burden. This has also made me anxious.

To sum up, I had several problems that created a bigger one which still affects my life too much.

I hope that some people can give me some information that could help me because I just cannot stand the situation. I have even begun thinking of suicide. (but dont worry I wont do it ever because I have too many close ones whom I do not want to experience me doing that)

I seriously need some help... Please people, I am glad for every advice I can get...

Please.