I'm new to this forum stuff but I need help with my current situation.

I was feeling depressed so I told my mum and she took me to her therapist and the women there diagnosed me with PTSD.

I'm bored of life I don't want to live in this kind of world anymore. I have serious motivational problems I always have suicidal thoughts but don't take action. I finished my GCSEs and now I'm in my second month of college and if I don't start thinking differently I'm going to get kicked out and start something else I don't want. I don't want to work or go school anymore, I don't study and failed almost all my mini tests and homework so far. Its not because I'm stupid just because I don't give a .... anymore. I hate feeling like this.

I've tried to talk to my only parent and she just starts crying when I tell her. She experienced a lot more than me and I was there for some of it. I don't think or know if the things that happened to me and my mum is effecting this but I feel hopless.

My mum already banned me from playing games or going on the internet until I done some school work for the day but I felt more depressed so I just ignored her and she understood. Im not someone that gets inspired easily by other people's achievments or someone that can maintain motivation or even be able to concerntrate on something for a long time, so even if I get really good advice the motivation and the will to live will just disappear moments later.

I know time will help a lot but I need to change now, I regret not doing any work in my free time and I've tried distracting myself with video games and talking to friends but its to study my body refuses. This is causing me to experience depression, I just won't to live anymore I wish I died or at least go into a forever lasting coma or something. I don't mean to offend anyone that's experienced loss and I know it never help the people around me. Even as I am typing this now on the bus, I'm skipping school for the day. I don't feel motivated to anything.

So I need help and I think this will help more than anything around me right now.

Thank you for reading this.