You sound VERY much like me. But I can get paranoid in my long-term relationship. If I was to start a new relationship six months ago I'd probably push the other person away.

I'm very reserved, I'm an introvert. I don't open up to other people, even though I can be nice and friendly to the them. The idea of opening up gives me exactly that feel of being violated. I also have lots of trouble with showing affection and my boyfriend is probably the only person who I can hug, kiss and say loving things to, even though he still says he's always more affectionate than I am. On the other hand I'm hypersensitive and I don't know why or how, but I feel things 10x stronger than others. I used to think everyone felt like that, but nope. It's something I struggle against, as I find it hard to put to good use and contrasts a lot with my poor interpersonal skills.

I'm also very judgemental. I'm not nasty, but I do scan people like you said even if my own self-image isn't the most positive thing ever and always thinking I'm not good enough and others have no reason to like me. I can't say I like most people I know too. This causes me great anxiety as I hate the idea of creating standards to categorize people but doing it myself. Very tricky.

May I ask you what are your hobbies or leisure activities? What do you do to get rid of stress? Are you involved with artistic production?