Quote:
Originally Posted by rcat
( some BP persons are originally wrongly diagnosed as BPD)
Getting over a relationship. Tough, isn't it. I think many forget that we grieve not just the hole but the change in life circumstances - especially if you relied on this person for activities and getting out. I realized I relied on my ex BF for most of what went on in my life. And I'm not just taking about things like going out. We went grocery shopping and ran errands together too. I made dinner for us often. I realise my anxiety was greatly reduced on account of someone regularly being present. It occured to me after the breakup that I really depended on him.
Thus it wasn't just the grief and hurt over the loss of a love, loss of an individual; but, it was also grief over the loss of how I lead my life.
Are you prepared to be friends, would having some sort of contact be okay with you?
A month after a very nasty breakup I have found myself on talking terms with my ex. Just that has greatly reduced the depression and anxiety - I don't know why, I don't know why it was a relief to hear from him. But, I finally feel a sense I can move forward - AND - live life (on my terms) again.
I think part of healing from the grief of a breakup is just that - feeling a sense that you have regained control over your life.
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it's been 2 weeks now and I had texted him yesterday. I asked him about how he's doing and I admitted I am not doing very well so he himself asked me if meeting him and talking about it would help me so I said yes... Now I feel really like a **** for doing that, because I am clear in a terms of not getting back together... this ain't happening for me and therefore not for him... So I feel like I drag people who don't deserve it to be a part of my troubles. Which I do... and I don't want to... as far as he's ok with the fact the meeting will be just really a talk, because I need it to be that, it's all fine, but I fear the fact he takes it as another chance for us to be together. I tried to make it clear it's not and that I just need to talk about it to ease my feelings, but then it's selfish. I can ease my feelings, but I am quite sure I am hurting him.. or I'll hurt him after we meet... So I feel really guilty about it. I am not quite sure how to solve the whole thing.