When you all were born, you were perfect. Somewhere along the way a person(s) told you lies about yourself (which had nothing to do with you, but everything to do with the person who was telling the lies). That person(s) disliked/hated themselves, and dumped it onto the innocent person. Try to find with little babysteps to put the anger and blame and shame on the abuser(s). THey own that....not you.