Actually, I take this sentiment as taking pressure off of men. Yes, we still need to be sensitive to the needs of the women we are making love with. You can't just jump on top, set a speed record then roll over and go to sleep. But, to me, it certainly alleviates some of the performance anxiety to know that modern women are responsible for their own orgasm. They communicate their needs (more foreplay, what type of foreplay, preference of activity or position, when they might need you or BOB to lend a little "help".

If she's just lying there with her legs open, not talking to you about what she likes and not telling you what is working or isn't working, it's not really your fault that you couldn't "give her" an orgasm.