Well there is probably an issue here. I'm probably trying to make up for lost time - the youthful relationship I never really had. I'm know I'm very sad because I don't have this memory and resentful that other people have a relationship history. There is something subconsciously going on, something in the DNA. I'm so easily swayed by youth and It's a hard urge to kick. It's a matter of convenience too most of the people I know are younger than me. I'm also fighting a history of being a loner - it's hard because it's where I'm comfortable and I like my space. I kept telling myself over the years that things would be okay but time went by so fast and here I am. Thanks.