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Originally Posted by JustShakey
Mine does this too. I sometimes feel like I'm trying to understand his view rather than him mine. It makes me doubt myself. He continues to compare my abusive marriage to sexual infidelity and I want to whack him sometimes. Other times I expend way too much time and energy trying to figure out the similarities...
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The thing with MC is that I can tell he's really trying, and many times his analogies are spot on. Plus he's usually good at "getting" me. And his being willing to share personal stuff makes me feel more able to trust him (definitely good) and more connected to him (mostly good, though there was a tough patch of transference in there). But today, I was just like, "Yeah, that's not really the same." I think in the past, I wouldn't have challenged him and just would have gone along with it. But now I'm at a place where I do feel more secure with him, so it's OK for me to be like, "Um, no, you're not really getting what I mean."
It sounds like yours can definitely be frustrating at times. I don't get the comparison between an abusive marriage and infidelity either. Is it a case where he's dealt with infidelity, so he's trying to find some way to relate to what you're experiencing? Still, it's not at all the same.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustShakey
It also bugs the crap out of me that wherever I bring up previous T he teases me about my ET. Yeah, I know, joke is older than god, can we talk about what happened that reminded me of her, pretty please. I am trying to get over relationship dysfunction or whatever here.
I should really talk to him about this stuff...
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That would really annoy me, joking about the past transference. Yeah, if it's bothering you, might be good to talk about.