1) How you feel will change
Sure but I am completely unable to imagine a moment that doesn't feel like the current one and anyway what are you some kind of prophet? Sometimes I say "how will I feel later?" And she'll say something like "not the same as now." OMG if I didn't love her I'd hate her.

2) Feelings are not facts
Yes. The facts would suggest that I'm like some kind of hybrid of Jesus and Mandela, only my treacherous low self esteem tells me otherwise.

3) What are you feeling in your body right now?
I dunno. A little gassy? WTF does one say to that? I feel like a cup of coffee and a blanket would be good right now. Can you hook me up?

4) You did the best you could at the time
This just seems like a logical fallacy. No matter what idiocy I've committed she'll suggest that it seemed like the best or only option at the time. Just once in a great while I'd like her to say "OH no. You really must've had your head up your arse that day!" Then I might believe her when she returned to you did your best.

5) That is not the truth about yourself (in response to some negative thing I feel about myself or someone else has suggested about me.)
Right. Because you know the truth about me. I'm little miss fuquing sunshine but I'm just too modest to talk about it here.