You all make a lot of sense.

I was part of his group of friends so that didn't help to get away but that's of course no valid reason to keep waiting that he would see the light.

What hurts me in all this is that he told his friends that surely I must be hard to live with, that I was always blaming him (I wasn't, I just told him that his hot and cold behavior was hurtful), that I was crazy and said weird things.
And yet he acted like he really cared otherwise I would have walked away earlier.

I know this is hard to understand.

A week ago he told a common friend that he didn't want a relationship because he was still hurting from his past relationship but he already was in a new one. :-o

I asked him to stop engaging in conversation and that it was silly to hide his relationship from me. He told me he wasn't in a relationship. Yet it was confirmed he was by 2 people he told about it.
This is getting crazier by the minute.

Does he think he can convince me now that I know? Apparently he told people to hide it from me specifically because I could hurt him (how??? He deserves it but I have never hurt him in the past)
I am in the same circles he is. So hiding it from me means almost a clandestine relationship.
Is he going to have one to one conversations with everyone and swear them to secrecy?

On the other hand, why should I even care... He is an avoidant and will stay one.
The problem with me is that admire his good sides, his talents and I easily doubt myself so that makes me too accepting of the unacceptable. Yes, he probably has some feelings for me but he doesn't want to have them.
And that's a fact I can't change.