i don't think i've ever been in more pain and at the same time more numb in my entire life...or not....

you know so i get a private message today from a member who said "i feel you should get off your *** and stop feeling sorry for yourself"

that's what i thought about on the way to T today...and that's basically the attitude i shared with T.... i'm fine, i said... have you been cutting, no i said... what are your plans concerning your job, not worrying about it, i said, i'll find another job... i said very little... lots of silence.... he aksed what can we do to make me feel better, i said there's nothing to be done. this will pass.

i'm assuming my termination from my job will become effective monday...so i'll call and cancel my T appt for next week...i can't pay for it....(oops...almost felt sorry for myself)

so if you don't hear from me for a while...i'll be busy getting off my *** and not feeling sorry for myself!

besides...i looked on the diagnoses on my T's report that i hand off to the receptionist...i went from major depression two weeks ago to this week a little adjustment disorder resulting from a life stressor....by next week i'm sure to be cured!