Headaches can be a part of depression. It sounds like you are in a great deal of pain. Could you find someone that you trust to talk to? A permanent solution is not the only option even though it may seem like it at times. Please find a talk to your doctor, T, or some other trusted person to get help. It is okey to need help at times.
There was a time that my nephew needed help tieing his shoes. He can now do that on his own. I have a need for my T which is okey too because there will be a time when I will be like my nephew and be able to do it on my own. I know this is a strange way to look at it but it helps me feel less "crazy" or "mentally ill."