I posted a long while back about an online friendship with someone I had met here on PC. We were pretty close for a long while and I felt at that time that each of us offered the other a strong support that we needed at the time.

In my real life, I have been friends with a girl at work for nearly 6 years. We, over the course of this time grew closer and closer and she stuck with me through some very difficult times and I considered her one of my closest friends. Very close. Thinking back now, I beleive I shared more with her then anyone on earth, other then my hubby. She meant alot.

When I moved to Texas from Virginia it hurt her alot (we will call her B. We kept in contact all the time. When I moved back to Virginia, I came back to the same job, same friends, etc. B and I picked up like I had never left, but this time, our relationship was more intense. More personal. But over the last 15 or so months since I have been back I have made some pretty drastic changes in my personal life, which essentially has effected my work life. Because B and I have a relationship that carries over from work to personal, as you can imagine things get intertwined and a bit messy. I guess I didn't help that part of my job was to supervise others and work closely with management. The fact that I have a knack for "gossip" and I have an overwelming need to have someone share in management knowledge with me before it's made public is a terrible character flaw that I have, but B was my sidekick and she always held every "behind the scenes secret" hidden in the vault. It was almost like telling my therapist where I am assured that the information I am sharing stays in the therapy session.

However after I left my position for a number of reasons, stress, my need to want more out of life ultimately led to the decision for me to leave my position to persue an endeavour I have thought about for a long time. Going back to school. Needless to say, the distance between is grew. We stopped calling eachother everyday, emailing. Since I was only working 2-3 days a week there, I barely even saw her there.

Recently I have been trying to call her and havent been able to get through. I leave messages, texts, etc and NOTHING. No response. So finally I tracked her down at work and she said that she would call me after work because she didnt feel comfortable with discussing this at work. Fair enough.

She calls me that evening talking in complete circles, saying that people are saying things to her that apparently I have said and she is upset that I would talk behind her back to anyone and that everyone at work is being mean to her and she is blaming me, etc. I was completely shocked by what she was saying, because first of all, I never said anything to anyone about her. I have no reason too. By the end of the conversation she had my crying, making me feel like a peice of %#@&#! and that I have been a horrible friend to her. She told me that she only did certain things because she was concerned about my anxiety, not because she really wanted to do the things. I was like. WTF?

So by the end of the conversation I agreed to grant her space and not speak with her at work or by phone.

She called me out of the blue tonight and honestly, I was pleasantly surpised to see her number on the caller ID. I greeted her pretty upbeat but then she started accusing me again of talking about her to others and discussing our previous phone conversation, she blamed me for the spam email she is receiving at work, she said that I needed to leave her alone and if I continued to do these things she was turning over my cell, my husbands cell, and everybody elses cell number to our boss to run a trace so everybody will just leave her alone.

Now, I know the last sentence didn't make a whole lotta sence and that is because, it doesnt make any sence. None of this makes any sence. Even more, by reading this you would think that I am 18 years old and fresdh outta high school because this whole thing is so juvenille. However, this loss of friendship is hard for me. She was like a sister to me. I shared things with her that I hadn't shared with anyone. I'm not one for friends. I am not the type to have 25 friends. I have 2-3 tops. Really close friends. It has always been that way for me.

Right now I am feeling alone and hurt. I am concerned for her hurting but at the same time I am angry that she is accusing me of rediculous things. What's worse, that she took this too the point of no return without even trying to talk about it, ask me about it, etc.

Another thing is that B is not well liked or thought of at work. Not that she is seen as horrible, but she is seen as overdramtic, mild side of paranoid, and she has a hard time articulating what she is trying to say. I also have a few personal concerns about her myself but I am not quite ready to share those yet.

I dunno, I feel better posting about it. Seeing it all down on paper (monitor). I have deleted her number from my cell and home numbers. I am thinking of having my home number and cell number changed as well. I'm a little freaked out by some of the things she was saying. She was being completly irrational.

I dunno what I am asking for here. I am just glad to post it all down and get it out.

thanks