I've had complications in marriage compounded by a female coworker. I'm long divorced, they are still best friends and he rooms and boards with her, her husband and daughter. She's been vile towards me, saying things that he's said before or they've fed off one another. My home became violent only after they became friends. Coincidence??

Sharing that she's getting the kids to bed?? That something for more intimate knowledge, whether physical or emotional, in my opinion. Why must they be friendly outside the office? A marriage is a commitment. Are you both in some kind of marriage counseling? Have you invited her to dinner, yet?