Yes I'd like to get a divorce. But there are many circumstances that surround that decision that I'm not ready to tackle. Most important is becoming financially independent.

My husband seems happy. He's very dedicated to his job & gets much satisfaction from that. Also from being a dad. Those 2 things make him content.
If I tell him I'm not happy hell always answer "it's not my job to make you happy."

When my family is home I can switch parts very well to put "Suzy Homemaker" in charge. She's funny, helps w/homework, cooks, plays, runs the house. She makes everyone think life is good."

Then I lay in bed at night & think of another day of my life that's been wasted. Hoping that tomorrow will bring a miracle! I do t believe in miracles anymore.

I've had therapists since I was 19yo. I quit my last one in December bec of major religious differences. The past 2 before her I was pretty much abandoned. I live in a very small town & limited T's. Not much choice. I said I was finished.
I know my issues. I know what would be logical steps to help myself & the tangled mess I get myself into. My major concern is I don't wanto hurt anyone & I'm also scared to death to make a change. So I just wait for change to come to me.

Yes I think there's a double standard here. But if if leave it would make my hubby look like a saint & me look like a *****.