I'm sure you know most of the advice I'm able to give you. "Don't let the past affect your future," "give new people a chance," etc. I get that telling you to do those things is basically pointless. Maybe if I had a step by step plan for it it would be easier, but just like telling someone with depression to "just get over it," telling something with anxiety to "just give people a chance" is well intentioned perhaps, but meaningless at best, and directly harmful at worst.
Learning how to cope with the pain of the past and learning how to move on from it are both incredibly difficult things to do. At times you may not even feel like you want to. And honestly? Not everyone is worthy of seeing who you truly are. I put on a mask every time I step outside. Every time I lift my covers in the morning, honestly, since not even my family knows "the real me" at this point.
In my life there has been one person who came along almost out of the blue and changed things for me. With him, I am completely myself, and he is my emotional stability. I know I couldn't be continuing to function if he hadn't come into my life.
I don't really know what my point here has been since I've pretty much invalidated all of my own advice to you. I wish I knew how to help you. I don't. Which is a good segue back into what CANDC said about professionals.
The PC community is here to support you in whatever you decide to do moving forward.