I understand what you mean. Looking at your faults isn't how you find love for yourself. It is the opposite. I know it seems egotistical- but it is healthy to do in balanced measures. Look at the things you did that were n are good- celebrate them n allow yourself to revel in them a bit to feel proud. Look to things you enjoy n your dreams, make plans step by step on how to achieve them (small things at first n progressively larger) - celebrate each accomplishment. Yes, recognize your faults too, but don't dwell on them - let them be learning tools. You can change those things you do not like about yourself. We all have the ability to control our actions and reactions - right down to our thoughts n emotions (those are more of an effect caused by controlling our choices). All you have to do is choose how you want to view a situation - you do that by recognizing it for what it is, then understanding the way you would normally react and that there are also other ways to react-identifying those ways - then conciously choosing a reaction. By doing that enough, it will affect your overall outlook - thus, your thoughts n emotions. Your actions are always a concious choice it is only what I just told you that will be new - it is hard at first, but it gets easier - and it helps develop all the "self" perspectives a lot. Does all that make sense?