If he's not willing to work on it, you can't force him to. If you really want to go to therapy and work on the communication then stick with that even when things calm down. You guys sound like you're caught in a cycle, someone has to break it. He sounds really dismissive and emotionally unavaliable.

Do you want more from a relationship than you loving the person? It sounds like there's a lot of unmet needs on your part and a complete unwillingness on his part to even acknowledge you have them, let alone attempt to meet them.