I'm suicidal. I know this. I don't know what to do to get rid of these thoughts. I don't want to be hospitalized so I lief to doctors about how I feel. The only thing keeping me alive is my fiance who I love more than life itself. Literally. I want to cry but I can't get myself to do it. Cutting would be so easy but my man hates that. It hurts him when I hurt myself. But I don't what else to do.