15 years of depression after i went into a tail spin in life but for a few years it was controlled by meds until we

lost the family home and ended up pretty much homeless , we rent but no where to call home, before the loss of the home i lost all my weight

and was living life to the fullest even after the loss of my child but then i met a drunk man who took me on a emotional rollercoaster , right

after having a hysterectomy i met him at work and he ended up being the knife in my back i carry today i was with him 4 years of him cheating an

drinking an mentally abusing me to the point i hate myself and everything about me im 42 now and i seen him 4 years ago for the last time his

sugar momma got her retirement and he joined her to help her spend it so i got into a relationship with a manic depressant man who causes me to

be even sadder about life , he never smiles, he cant have sex so therefor its not even attempted no kissing hugging no body touching at all then

on top of that he dont even talk to me i try to leave him but im with him for pity , so that brings me to the point im at now , i dont leave my

room but to potty an shower my weight is back up i stay in bed all the time i feel totally useless and hopeless i have no future there is nothing

that makes me happy , i take 40 mg celexa have been on it for years i used to have anxiety attacks but i quit Xanax cause honestly i dont care no

more to even have a anxiety attack lol i dont know what to do im just a number in the medicaid system i need meds and help but where do i start

, i found this web site im hoping to maybe find others like me who never get out bed an feel so depressed about life that it stops u from living

, i could win the lottery tonight an i would just simply go back to bed
anyway thanks for reading