Above all don't fall into the trap of going for him period no matter how enticing it is. That's how he plays with your head he likes the control people like that are dangerous to your self esteem and emotional stability even I'll go as far as not him personally, but guys I knew who dated people I knew very well did this, but were physically abusive and it's all because they couldn't resist her leaving him...
I'm saying this because I helped so many friends of mine who do this, this person will promise you they'll treat you right and they never do. It's always an opening or excuse to cause more harm to you.
Crappy people do this all the time.
I'm afraid of commitment for other reasons different from him, he makes people like me look bad, because he's being a tool about it. Where as of I am afraid because I've been battered very badly and really can't open up, because people lie too easily. People judge too easy and assume to easy even if they say they known you or loved you all your life, the true people who love you judge you, but don't buy into their ******** and see you more than what they think you are.

I care about people, I really want to be in a real commitment but that hasn't happened and never will it cross my mind of wanting it happening, because I don't see myself giving someone else power and in dept over me that I don't trust.

But he is different he may not want to commit for personal issues possibly similar to mine or something bad happened to him, but how he handles it is entirely inappropriate. You can't be two faced lie to someone with a false promise and not do what you say Like many men and women do this in modern age and dating is ****ed up entirely because both sides in some way or another you and I will always know and see a lot of people who will try to seduce you and completely use that lie to control you and make you either a victim of their capabilities to fool you or the man or woman doesn't want love, but rather just the idea of enjoying quick hookups quick intimate quaint moments where it's usually he or she prides over sex in the moment, which comes to my next point shouldn't be shamed upon, it should be ignored entirely and let those people do they will without you. It's my responsibility and anyone else's responsibility who comes across a person like you've experience take a critical look how this person is, and see if they really care about you or they don't. Also see if you really like to put up with their qualities of this or not or enjoy them. It's no wrong way of handling it, but if you're unhappy definitely make a change to what's right for you.

I don't find his behavior unusual it's quite normal a lot of people do it, whether they admit it or not. Not everyone does it either, but a lot do. People like the rush and some men and women are addicted to it. How love addiction happens is exactly is his behavior. I don't believe he is one, because I don't know him, but this may sound out there and different, but it's really what I observe all the time first hand and I'm really baffled how people really put up with it and let it happen from both sides. Like I don't think he's right at all for leading you on, but I don't think anyone should shame him and degrade his character, I think he is aware of enough of his own actions or at least I hope he is. Rather I take this from my own perspective and the ones I've witnessed and the people I know who tell me this exact story every time usually from girls about another guy. Occasionally from a guy friend about a girl they like here and there, but the outcome is always the same. The guy or girl, likes the attention he or she is receiving they act according to fulfill that gap of whatever they feel. It's not damaged people who are susceptible it's literally everyone, at one point in your life you always desire even in good and bad times of wanting more it's human, you want more bite than you can chew. He bit too much and tried to juggle too many women around like it's a circus, because he felt or believed or had an inkling he can do it, but everyone else including you sees differently they see for what it is, he's dismissive and lacks the courage to commit to what he says. It's not just that he won't commit to you, he can't even commit the girl he's fooling with while putting you away like his old toy he will always come back to, many female friends have made the mistake of going back a lot eventually they always end it, because they knew the guy only wants the attention, but other times if can also might be possible that this guy may end up being with you eventually after all, but just not now, because he may get too fed up with his own guilt and stupidity he truly shows he cares and does everything to convince you that he truly loves you, but if the damage was done and he destroyed your trust and you are tired of him. He should accept it, and same for you on your stance and how you should handle it. This has literally happened to everyone I know including myself.

I think it's something we end up learning one way or another. It's really these mental skills from dating really shape our view of our own personal reality of our perfect relationships we eventually fall into or may fall out of. It separates the child's mind of "me me me" " I want a boy or man like this I want a woman whose all like this" which personal preference isn't bad, it's not what I'm aiming at it's selfish behavior during conversation, dating, or anything really that has no intention but bring only satisfaction to the one person even if it harms the other person entirely to, what adults take on real love is by the act of giving and not only receiving together you can enrich both parties to do better. It's always will be like this.

Sadly this hit me very close to home, it's mainly why I'm single too many people here don't want to know me. I talk too much according to them, I am not someone other people relate to because I'm different not bad but different hard to understand. The fact they are confused about anything automatically assumes I'm a horrible person and not spends one ounce of time to look into my real character self.

I have severe body image issues and struggled with eating disorders, not by society, it's the interactions like these I'm singled out by the people I like, because I give and try to love someone like an adult, but even when rejected I'll be respectful to myself and them. Like I hated putting my all to a friend I wanted to date, that I wasn't in the friend zone literally convinced me she had a thing for me, we hit it off or I thought a year later, "oh I thought you as my best friend" Or like my ex wanting me to be under her control, because she talked so badly about my body, but contradictory had sex with me constantly, because she was afraid of me leaving her, not because she was a horrible abusive person to me who lied to my face at every moments notice, but was afraid I'd find the other girl more attractive than me. She stalked me and even tried to convince me at my young naive age at 17 that if she was pregnant we be a happy family and can get married. She was a sick psycho who never cared about my daughter not once and insults me of my character, my intelligence and the choices I made. I feel regret and from that regret I have struggled that I'm not worthy for love just pity from others I'll maybe have someone some other day or some sappy crap. They don't know what it's like to be a victim in your shoes and mine. We do have a common issue, but the difference between some people I know and maybe you or maybe not. Is that you have the opportunity available to meet better people or have people come to you when I don't. I can't go out and meet new people, they don't care to talk to me, and no matter how much effort I put I was left unloved and alone because I'm misunderstood because I'm different. You wouldn't believe any of the rumors people put on other people to make their lives hell and people completely how anyone can be fooled because it's mysterious.

It's frustrating some of the people I know can get a new girlfriend boyfriend extremely easy. Even if they are more or less attractive than I am in all aspects of looks and personality quirks. See you're either lucky or you're not and you have to work too damn hard to get one of the good people, but some people get all the good people like a super massive black hole and you will be stuck in the shadow of their successes with relationships.

I'm telling you that's very very very very I mean very hard to get out of. No matter how charming, or considerate, or attractive or whatever quirk you have to make people like you have. It won't work, it's not fair, but it's literally how the world works. I've been single for a very long time and I'm tired of always being lied to and feeling I'm not worth anything that starving myself and staying up late typing this to make my pain feel better to feel I'm mean a lot to someone else is such an important goal I would rather suffer horrible things than be a lone and no one care about me that my whole life would be in this boring depressing limbo of being always misunderstood. Anyone can fall victim to this. I unfortunately have a very hard time ever getting out. I don't see that happening where I live ever. Sorry to put this on me, it really hit a soft spot on me. I'm going to bed... night