We have similar issues but not precisely the same
- I was more or less forced into placing my only child up for adoption
- I have been through several abusive/controlling relationships (last one was psychological n emotional abuse)
- my only marriage (which ended in divorce) had very little sexual contact in 7yrs (I could probably count the times on both hands)
- the abuse n lack of attention made my self esteem plummet
- I have had depression, anxiety, PTSD, BPD for many years
- the anxiety does not bother me as much anymore

I am now getting my self esteem back but still am bothered by most of the disorders I mentioned.

First, has this man ever tried to get professional help?
There are medications that can help bipolar. Secondly, have you told him of your need for physical contact - even if in the form of just hugging n kissing n holding hands? Next - does he make any effort to show how he feels about you at all? Finally - no matter what, you need to love yourself n respect yourself. Do that by remembering all the good things you have done in life - allow yourself to revel in them n celebrate them. Then think of things that will make you happy (small things at first) n come up with step by step pkans on how to get it done - celebrate each victory n decide on something else a lil bigger each time as it goes on. You will find your self esteem come flooding back. Acknowledge your mistakes too but don't focus n dwell on them - just let them be learning experiences. Then you will notice your self respect start coming back - n with the self esteem n self respect, self love comes easy .