Quote:
Originally Posted by guiltier65
Thank you Linus. I tend to feel like my issues are just me whining or being pathetic. But I need to vent today. I feel very tired and low. I have started smoking again after almost 8weeks of being smoke free. I'm so tired and its the only thing that wakes me up and helps me function. I'm so tired of feeling like this. so hopeless and discouraged.. My house is a disaster because I am never home or don't have enough energy to clean. It just is so hopeless. I am constantly on the run doing stuff for other people because I am a nurse and help my parents with their groceries and other things. I work 2 jobs and fall asleep if I sit too long. I am starting to binge spend, binge drink, binge smoke and binge eat. I have talked to my therapist about most of this. But I just feel so damn worthless and hopeless today. ah well enough of my whining.
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The biggest thing I see here is that you are definitely not worthless or hopeless. You spend all your time helping others in need of your help. I know for a fact that, if you asked any of them, they will say your indispensable. You don't have enough energy to do your own things because your always doing for others. Now, I'm definitely not saying you need to stop helping. They need you too. But you do need to stop beating yourself up and get a better brighter perspective. Believe me. I know too well how easy it is to beat yourself up and blame yourself for all the world's problems rather than excepting that you are doing your best and that life is never easy. Another problem is, you are physically exhausted but are financially and responsibly unable to take a week or even a day off for yourself. I don't know the answer to this one but, somehow, you need to find time for yourself. Keep strong and know that you are needed and loved.